The Bored Single Bloggers' Club

Monday, February 27, 2006

Why are women crabby....the truth, and nothing but the truth!

Since this was a special request by SG for me to re-post this on BSB as I had initially posted this in my own blog. I hope you enjoy it and may it be an enlightening post for all the BSB folks. :)

FINALLY!!! A valid and well explained reason why women are crabby. And it ain’t just preMENstrual agony or MENnopause, ok? Lol

We started to “bud” into our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find out that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time, which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are!), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary’s Baby.

Our once flat bellies looked like we had swallowed a watermelon whole and we peed our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.

Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming, Mrs. HEAR ME ROAR.” Calm down and push. Just one more good push (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the OB and hubby square in the face for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole.

After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that “cute” wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

Then . . . come their teen years. Need I say more?

When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40’s while hubby had his some where around his 18th birthday and is now all but null and void.
So we progress into the grand finale: “Menopause”, the Grandmother of all womanhood. It’s either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned “buds”, or the aforementioned Nether Regions; or sweat like a hog, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks . . ..

So, while I love being a woman, “Womanhood” would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.
Women are the “weaker sex?” Yeah right! Bite me.

~~Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day!!!~~ To all the men & women reading this, yes…go ahead and have a laugh before you leave any comments. . . but not too hard or you may just pee your m/panties.

Ps. Pls pass the word so that more MEN will understand.

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause:
Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho.

Courtesy of SmallPlasticMan

Note : I can already hear Lilian’s echo reaching me soon! Lol But like her, I too believe that PMS mood swings can be controlled, it’s just a little tough. That’s all.

Contributed by mistyeiz :: 3:33 PM :: 4 comments

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