The Bored Single Bloggers' Club
Friday, June 23, 2006
Times have surely changed
Before the mid 1980s
A program was a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were.. something u hated to clean
A cusor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano
Memory was.. something u lost with age
A CD was a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
Paste.. u did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu!!
Times surely have changed!!
Contributed by mistyeiz ::
9:53 AM ::
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Monday, June 12, 2006
Sex quotes from famous people [Good one!]
Quotes From The Famous
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
~ Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
~ Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
~ Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
~ Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." ~ George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
~ Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
~ Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
~ Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
~ Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
~ Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
~ Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
~ Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
~ Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
~ Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
~ Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
~ Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
~ Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
~ Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
~ Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
~ George Burns
Contributed by mistyeiz ::
1:54 PM ::
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Thursday, June 01, 2006
Poetry to usher in June
FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
and when I spend his cash, he's not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
and always be my very best friend.
MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
With huge boobs,
Who owns an off licence and a speed boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme but I don't give a dime.
(NOTE: I claim no authorship to these poems, just thought I'd share this from a recent email I got...)
Contributed by *lynne* ::
1:36 AM ::
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